Lycidas512

Quick MXR '74 Vintage Phase 90 Fix

2011-08-06T11:40:00.000-05:00

I recently purchased an MXR '74 Vintage Phase 90, but it had a couple of problems when I received it. First, the back plate bulged outward in the middle. I took it off, placed one end on a piece of wood and kneeled on it until it was straight. When I placed it back on the pedal, it was a very tight fit, but the bulge was gone. However, when I tried the pedal, it didn't work. The pedal sounded normal off, but when it was engaged, there was no phase effect. It sounded like a slightly muffled version of the clean signal. I removed the backplate, checked the battery, and looked around inside for anything obvious, but did not see anything. I tried it again before putting the cover back on the pedal worked.

Based on that, I assumed that two things that shouldn't touch were touching. The only thing I saw that could be doing that was the lug on the output jack that carries the signal. It was pointed up about 60 to 70 degrees, I would guess (about where the red line is in the photo below). I think this could have been touching a solder point on the bottom of the circuit board through the foam when the cover was on. I bent it down (gently), replaced the cover, and it has worked consistently ever since.

Original position of lug is indicated by the red line. I bent it down to its current position.

I read some reviews stating that the pedal didn't work when received. So, if this is a design flaw, and others have had this problem, I thought I should make this info available. Especially because if you buy the pedal used you often don't have the luxury of returning it if it stops working.

Anyone have any similar experiences with the '74 Vintage Phase 90?

Biyang PH-10 Phase Adjustment

2011-07-31T12:09:00.064-05:00

I recently purchased a Biyang PH-10 Phase Pro on eBay. I noticed that in eBay's stock photo of this pedal, SPEED is spelled SEEPED (seriously), so I wasn't sure what to expect. This one's not too bad.

The PH-10, like MXR's M-101 Phase 90 (the natural comparison in this price range), did not sound that great out of the box. I took it apart to see if there was an easily accessible trimpot inside, and there was indeed.

The stock sound was over-pronounced for me. I made careful note of the stock position of the trimpot screw and turned it little by little until it sounded good to me. You may end up with different results if you try this, but I ended up about 270 degrees counter-clockwise from the original position (see pic below). The pedal now sounds much creamier. If I don't sell it first, I will a/b it with an Custom Shop Phase 90 and a 74 Script Phase 90. One thing at a time, though.

The yellow dot indicates the stock (top) and adjusted (bottom) position of that end of the slot.

Ibanez TS-10 Replacement Switch

2011-07-26T18:11:00.002-05:00

I recently bought an Ibanez TS-10 Tube Screamer with a non-functioning switch, but could not find an exact replacement. I bought a Cherry MX1A-11NN for 98 cents at Small Bear Electronics: http://www.smallbearelec.com/Detail.bok?no=588. The listing warns that the switch "fits the opening, [but] needs a piece of wood glued to the actuating lever to press its smaller shaft." That sounded sloppy, so I hoped to find a different fix.

I installed the switch with no problems, and saw that it was indeed too short. I tried small rubber caps (including two that I pulled from the end of bungee cords). They worked, but didn't look good. Cutting them straighter would have helped. The sizes I tried fell off and would have needed glue anyway.

I grabbed two pieces of shrink tubing -- one about 4mm and one about 5mm, give or take a mm. I placed the 4mm tube on the actuator, which was a tight fit, but not a struggle. The 5mm fit over the smaller one no problem. I cut the length to about 8mm and very, very briefly heated them with a lighter, just enough to taper the end and firm them up a bit. Here is the result, which looks good and works perfectly. Hope this has helped someone. I'd be happy to hear about other fixes for this switch.

DOD YJM-308 Preamp True Bypass Mod

2011-06-21T19:13:00.007-05:00

I don't care that much about true bypass, but a lot of people do, so I wanted to put this info out there. I just completed the true bypass mod for the DOD YJM-308 pedal, and it was incredibly easy. I used a 3PDT switch so I will have the option of installing an LED at some point, time permitting.

First, remove the original switch and replace it with a 3PDT switch. Then wire everything as shown in this photo and crude diagram (bottom view, of course):

It's hard to make out the wiring in the photo, and the diagram is pretty crude, but between the two of them, you should be able to discern where the wires go.

Put everything back together and that's it. All I have left to do is add the optional LED, and then use some nail polish remover to remove Yngwie's signature and name from the pedal. Again, I'm not a believer in true bypass, but I love this pedal. It was a pleasant $30 surprise (it helps to have a good amp, of course). But I'm not a signature model type -- and if I were, it wouldn't be Yngwie's signature -- so the name is going.

I should also add that the battery just fits. And I mean .00000 tolerance. So it won't bang around the enclosure when you move it.

When I add the LED, I will post the results, so stayed tuned.

Maxon OD808 Repair

2011-01-26T18:25:00.001-05:00

Originally posted: 24 June 2010

Maxon OD 808 Repair

I bought a Maxon OD808 overdrive on ebay for $22.50 (+$10 shipping). It was listed as not working, but because these pedals sell for $150 new and $60-$90ish used, I thought it was worth a shot.

Based on the seller mentioning a burning smell after the pedal stopped working, I assumed that he had used the wrong power supply.

I was correct. The diode that protects against reverse polarity, had been thoroughly burnt, along with the adjacent DC jack and the circuit board. I read a post by someone who ruined a pedal by using a 2-amp power supply; most pedals this size use about one-tenth of that (200 mA for the math-impaired).

So it was clear that I needed to at least replace the burnt diode, so I started there. A few months ago, I disassembled a broken CF bulb to see what it looked like inside, and I ended up salvaging some parts from it. Among those parts was the diode I used to replace the fried one in this pedal. (The new diode is pictured in the second to last photo.)

So, after an investment of $32.50 + 20 minutes + $0 in parts, I have a $150 pedal, which sounds awesome.

Dealing with Gucci, non-paying bidders, and eBay

2011-01-24T12:10:00.003-05:00

Out of the three Gucci items I recently listed on eBay, two of the buyers did not pay. There is chance, albeit a tiny one, that this post might help others avoid a similar situation, so here it is:

First, the user names:
swissluxurist (feedback: 0)
"Real" name and address, according to eBay:
Don H Downstairs (red flag)
Clinton, MD 20774
email: webmail@nlfeed.com (red flag)
The account was created two days after the auction began (red flag).

rpoe3877 (feedback: 1)
"Real" name and address, according to eBay:
Ralph Poe
Columbia, SC 29204 (rwpoe1968@gmail.com)

After sending the invoices, I received no replies. I sent the invoices again two days later. I received no response from swissluxurist -- nor did I expect to -- but I heard back from rpoe3877. He claimed he was having password problems with Paypal. I wrote back, telling him how to reset his password, and that was the last I heard from him. I opened a case for each listing. Ebay did not hear back from them within four days, so I closed the cases and they each received a nonpayment strike and I was refunded my fees.

When I tried to relist the items, a pop-up informed me that for some items (such as Gucci products), the seller has to wait for 30 days to relist them, unless the seller is pre-approved. Even though the ONLY reason I'm relisting is because of non-paying bidders. So I called and they cleared the items for relisting.

To avoid non-paying bidders, sellers have a number of options that seem to require more vigilance than I am willing to commit. I have of course blocked the offending users, but they have probably already assumed new eBay identities. I could request in the listing that potential bidders with feedback scores less than 10 contact me before bidding, and block all who don't. That does not prevent sniping, though.

The easiest solution, now that I have a rough idea what the items will sell for, is to relist the items as fixed price auctions requiring immediate payment. If the buyer cannot pay after clicking Buy It Now, the item remains listed.

I sold a pair of shoes this way. I listed them for a price that was lower than the bidding reached. The pair of boots, though, I contacted one of the bidders who asked me questions. He seemed very interested in the boots. I gave him a heads up that I was going to relist them so he could buy them immediately. I offered a discount if he wanted to do it through Paypal (bypassing eBay). He was game and it worked out well. He got a great price -- much less than the high bid -- and I am rid of the boots, did not have to pay eBay's listing or final value fees, and will never sell Gucci on ebay again.

The thing that annoyed me most is that you cannot leave negative feedback for non-paying bidders. You can only leave positive feedback or report them. Actually, no. Being informed that I had to wait 30 days to relist the items annoyed me most. Because of this experience, I will exhaust ALL other options before listing anything on eBay -- amazon, craigslist, wantaddigest, contacting previous buyers, etc. It doesn't hurt eBay (my fees are probably a few hundred dollars annually), but it gives me a little satisfaction.

How to Dispose of a Rhodes Mark III EK-10

2011-01-12T08:04:00.007-05:00

Several years ago, my friend Peter (redsunsoundroom.com) bought a Rhodes Mark III EK-10 electric piano/synthesizer (it is both when it works) for the simple reason that it would have been silly not to for the price. For brevity, I will henceforth refer to the piano as either “the EK-10” or “the Beast.” A link to photos of the Beast is at the bottom of this post.

It has been in storage for several years, so we finally went and picked it up, intending to return it to some usable condition, even if it ended up being a single majestic-sounding key. We took my Chevy Aveo, which was an interesting choice, in that it is easily the smallest car on my block, by at least a foot or two. But it’s a hatchback, and the Beast fit nicely. (To carry on the time-honored tradition of renaming started in the previous paragraph, I will henceforth refer to the Aveo as “the Silver Bullet,” or simply “the Bullet.”)

First, a little background. Rather than relating the full history of the EK-10, I have selected a few phrases from the recollections of former Fender/Rhodes employees (engineers, testers, etc.), found on the website Majorkey.com:

· “One of the greatest musical Instrument disasters of the modern era”
· “Notes would turn on by themselves and then suddenly shut off”
· “Mechanical switches . . . that turned green when pressed . . . were the only thing that worked flawlessly on this pig”
· “It is rumored that instead of sending these things back to the USA, [Japanese distributors] used them as part of an artificial reef.”

If that does not sufficiently paint the picture, allow me a final brushstroke (also from Majorkey.com): In a meeting in which management intended to get the staff to stop complaining and start shipping, the EK-10 in the room started playing by itself. Not a song, but the “oddest assortment of notes and chords.” Someone laughed, the person running the meeting screamed “YOU THINK THIS IS FUNNY?!”, and the meeting was summarily adjourned. Had I been there, I would have relished the opportunity to appropriately wrap up a meeting with “And on THAT note . . .”

So now you know what we were getting into.

We took a handtruck with us, but did not use it. We probably should have – the Beast was all there, and either of us could have easily wrenched something. But we had it in us that day, and we got it to the Bullet without injury. It fit perfectly. I brought my camera, imagining that the Bullet would look pretty comical with the Beast and the handtruck in the back. But it didn’t. The car looked like it was built for the sole purpose of transporting an EK-10 and two grown men who don’t mind riding up front with their knees in their armpits.

As it turned out, however, a more appropriate conveyance would have been a hearse. We set it up in my basement and fiddled around with it and it did not sound good. I never had any hope for getting a synth sound out of the Beast. My best hope was to somehow bypass the circuit boards and at least have a playable electric piano, even if an unnecessarily heavy one. I removed some parts later that evening and got a better look. The pickups are all wired to the circuit boards using Molex connectors. I had no idea if it would be possible to rewire them in such a way that would bypass the circuit boards, but the playability of the piano was awful, so I concluded that no amount of time would have been worth it. A quick search of completed listings on eBay revealed that some parts were fetching some hefty sums (e.g., a plastic Rhodes nameplate sold for $40; four legs sold for $50), so I quickly realized that the best course would be to sell it for parts.

The first part of my plan, after discussing options with the Owner of the Beast, was to list it for parts on craigslist, just to see if there would be any interest. I hate craiglist, but it’s a good way to avoid fees, packing, and shipping, so it’s always worth a shot, even if it rarely pays off. A few people contacted me, but they lost interest when they realized that the EK-10 was beyond repair (or at the very least beyond their abilities to repair). I nudged the price down a bit and reposted it. No replies.

The second part of my plan was to remove all of the parts, clean them, and list them separately on ebay. Time became an issue – as it often does – so I decided to list only big parts and lots on eBay. For instance, instead of selling individual pickups, of even lots of ten, I would sell the whole pickup assembly. The pickups are all mounted on a heavy piece of plywood (the lumber of the Beast), so it would have been cumbersome, but not particularly time consuming. I started by listing the keys as a lot for $20 (plus actual shipping) on eBay, but there were no takers. Before listing the pickups and fork & tine assemblies on eBay, I thought I’d try one more craigslist ad. I listed the keys for $20 and received two replies. When I responded, I mentioned that I have the rest of the parts (most of them, anyway). In my attempt to garner interest, I listed the asking price for each part, followed by a total price that was considerably less than the total of the parts (the parts totaled $220, and I offered them for $140). One respondent had to find out first what parts he needed. Based on my experience with craigslisters, I was surprised to actually hear back from him the following week. But he was too late – another guy was interested enough to act quickly, and got the lot of parts for $140, which I think was a good deal for both of us. I got rid of the bulkier parts in one sale, and he got a good batch of parts for a good price.

I kept the legs, sustain pedal, and the Rhodes nameplates and listed them all on eBay. The control panel nameplate sold for $10, and the nameplate from the case (which was pretty beat) sold for $5, so they were worth listing, because the postage is cheap compared to some of the bigger parts, and the didn’t take much time or effort to list.

The set of four legs ended up selling for $128.50. The auction included free shipping, for which I paid $18. Less that, as well as ebay and paypal fees, I netted $95. Not bad, considering the set I first found on eBay sold for $50.

The sale of the sustain pedal was interesting, and I think it highlights the importance of timing -- and perhaps wording -- in eBay sales. I listed it as an auction starting at $99.99 with a $159.99 Buy It Now price and free shipping. I included the wooden plunger that is part of the sustain assembly. The auction ended with several watchers but no bids. I immediately relisted it (without the plunger) as $99.99 Buy It Now, and instead of free shipping, the buyer pays $15 shipping. It sold within 24 hours. In addition to timing, the wording might have been a factor. In the first auction, I listed it as a Rhodes sustain pedal, putting a lower case "fender" at the end so it will show up in searches. I assumed that a lot of people search Fender Rhodes, not just Rhodes. Whether or not that’s true, it’s better to be on the safe side, as long as you’re not implying in the description that the parts are original to a Fender Rhodes. My goal was to get the potential buyers to the listing first, then describe it accurately. Anyway, in the relisting, I listed it as a sustain pedal for a Fender Rhodes. Not from a Fender Rhodes, because it came from a Rhodes (not a Fender Rhodes), and as far as I know, it might not even be original to the Beast. Regardless of its history, it is for a Fender Rhodes. So maybe that helped sell it too.

In sum, if you have the time, it very well might be worth it to remove all the parts and sell them separately. Pickups in particular seem to sell well on eBay. I did not have the time, so this worked out well -- the buyer of most of the parts got a good deal, the Owner of the Beast got some closure (and some cash amounting to more than what he originally paid), and I only had to list a few items rather than 73 pickups, forks/tines, etc. And, because of the owner’s generosity, 40% of the net (once again, that’s redsunsoundroom.com).

But one thing I’m curious about, and I welcome comments: Is it possible to bypass the circuit boards and make the Beast a passive electric piano?

Rhodes Mark III EK-10

Through a Glass, Briefly

2010-11-17T18:01:00.005-05:00

Yesterday morning, I was walking with Maisie from the parking lot toward the daycare building, holding her little hand all the way. I saw our reflection in the glass door as we approached, and it occurred to me that the reflection was a short-lived snapshot, like a Polaroid picture that fades as quickly as it develops.

At a time when we have immediate access to a full range of images of ourselves -- from digital photos that are quickly deleted or forgotten to printed photos that will almost certainly outlast us -- a reflection falls squarely at the fleeting end of that spectrum. That reflection is not on my computer or phone, nor in anyone else's. It's not on a google or facebook server somewhere. In fact, I can only barely picture it now (and who knows how accurate my memory of it is?) -- the only way it could be any less of a snapshot is if I were to forget it completely.

Precisely because of its fleeting quality, this reflected glimpse more accurately portrays life than any other kind of snapshot. When I opened the daycare door, the snapshot of Maisie and me was gone, and that moment with it. Many of us can easily associate snapshots with weddings, vacations, or even more common moments when it occurs to us to capture the moment. But few of us would normally associate dropping our child off at daycare on a Tuesday morning in November with snapshots.

But that's exactly what these reflections are -- moreso than any other picture you can take. So when you see one, hold that little hand tight, because in that one brief moment, that's all you have.

Silencing the Fisher Price Geotrax Grand Central Train

2010-06-19T13:01:00.009-05:00

We bought a train set for Maisie (and me) at a rummage sale today. It has a remote control locomotive but it plays loud train sounds whenever you operate it. The sounds scared Maisie, so I wanted to silence the remote while keeping it operational. To do this, I did the following:

1. Removed the batteries, then removed the five screws showing in this photo above, as well as one on the other side.

2. The speaker wire was not difficult to find after opening the remote. It's the yellow wire (note arrow) that connects the speaker to the solder points marked "SP" on the circuit board.

3. The picture above shows the bottom view of the solder points for the speaker. I gently heated these points with the soldering iron -- keeping slight tension on the wires as I did so -- until the wires pulled out.

4. I reassembled the remote, which is now completely silent. Now Maisie can hang out with her smelly wino friends at Fisher Price's GeoTrax Grand Central Station without being scared away by the noises.

MXR Custom Shop Script Phase 90 is the EVH Phase 90

2010-06-16T19:50:00.008-05:00

I'm posting this in the hopes that people considering the Custom Shop MXR line will be better informed:

I recently purchased an MXR Custom Shop Phase 90, thinking that I would treat myself to a reproduction of a vintage pedal. In the late 80's, I bought a mid-70's script Phase 90 for $20 and sold it a few years later for about the same. I often regretted it, so I bought the Custom Shop version, thinking it would be close enough.

The Custom Shop Phase 90 did indeed sound better than the standard Dunlop Phase 90, which has a touch of distortion and a rather harsh phase sound. I took the pedal apart to see if I could install an LED and found out that it is an EVH Phase 90 in a different enclosure. It isn't like the EVH pedal. It is the EVH pedal. It says EVH on the board (see left center of photo) and has the script switch (upper left), which is inaccessible with this enclosure. Installing an LED appears to be a simple job, but I was so disappointed by the surface mounted, decidedly un-70s vibe of this pedal that I sold it immediately and bought a '79 Phase 90 on ebay for $80, and it is chock full o' creamy goodness. I think the pedal was only $80 because (I was told) it is a transitional Phase 90 -- script guts, but with the block logo, characteristic of many MXR pedals in the late 70s. Even if it's not script electronics, it sounds gorgeous.

The Custom Shop Phase 90 does not sound bad at all, but I wanted either an old pre-Dunlop Phase 90 or a modern hand-wired version. I'm not ashamed to admit that I am among the majority of guitarists who would not be able to discern the difference between the Custom Shop/EVH Phase 90 and a 70's version (or handwired repro). But the simplicity and relative inconvenience (e.g., lack of DC adapter jack and LED) of the original have an allure that is difficult to explain.

Much-Needed Off Switch for a Musical Toy

2010-05-20T17:15:00.008-05:00

When one of my friends visited last summer, he brought my daughter a toy saxophone that plays tunes when you press one of the buttons. Very thoughtful, but the problem with it is that once a tune starts playing, there is no way to stop it. And these tunes were the annoying kind that stay in you head for a day or two after hearing them.

Another problem was that we keep the sax in my car so she can play with it on car rides. When it is in the back seat or on the floor, it frequently starts playing when I hit a bump. My first thought was to remove the batteries (that was actually my second thought -- my first was to throw it out the window, but I didn't want to litter), but my daughter seems to enjoy it, and it at the very least keeps her entertained in the car.

My solution:

1. I took the sax apart, which involved removing 7 philips head screws
2. I found a spot where an SPST switch would fit (I had one on hand, but they're only about $3 at Radio Shack, and worth every penny)
3. I drilled a hole in the plastic and mounted the switch
4. I desoldered the end of the red wire connected to the positive terminal on the battery compartment
5. I soldered that wire to the outside terminal of the switch
6. I cut a short length of red wire (I happened to have some 22 gauge wire handy) and connected the middle terminal to the positive battery terminal

I put everything back together, and now we have a sax that turns off.

Avoid Vogel Insurance Agency

2010-01-12T20:35:00.009-05:00

On September 28, 2009, I received a letter from Mary Beth, an agent at Vogel Insurance Agency, Inc. (an Allstate agency). It offered a homeowner's policy for $301. A footnote indicated that the actual premium may be higher or lower. I called Mary Beth and she quoted a premium of $394, which I accepted and paid. (See how the $301 was determined below.)

On December 8, 2009 -- at which time my policy had already been in effect for TWO MONTHS -- I received a letter from Vogel Insurance Agency indicating that the premium went up from $394 to $681. I emailed Mary Beth and Dave Vogel immediately. Mr. Vogel replied the square footage that their inspector measured was 50% more than what I had told them on the phone (I told them 1278 sq. ft., which I got directly from Home Funding Finders' appraisal in September of 2007 -- this figure also matched GEICO's inspection). Further, Mr. Vogel claimed that the siding on my home is not aluminum, as I had told them on the phone. The adjusted policy indicated that the exterior is STUCCO. It should be pretty obvious from a quick glance at the fuzzy photo below that the siding is not stucco. It is in fact aluminum, as the GEICO inspector confirmed a week or so later (and is also indicated on HFF's appraisal). The policy also indicates that we have a carport, which we do not. It seems highly likely that the inspector went to the incorrect address (although Mr. Vogel did not reply when I suggested that). There is a stucco house on the next block, so maybe the inspector went there.

The replacement value of my house, according Vogel Insurance Agency (after the adjustment): $356,155. GEICO also adjusted my policy after the inspection (within two weeks of inspection, not two months). The replacement value according to GEICO: $196,490. Which sounds more realistic?

I asked Mr. Vogel three times what the initial offer of $301 was based upon, he finally told me he makes an estimate based on the "purchase date of the home, and the purchase price" (his words, directly from an email). I told him that that is not a valid method of quoting a homeowner's policy premium.

I canceled my policies (my auto policy as well) immediately. I received my refunds from Vogel Insurance Agency, for both the auto and homeowner's policies. However, the pro-rated refund of the homeowner's premium is based on $681/year, not $394/year. I was covered from October 10 to December 10, so I should be refunded 10 months' of the $394 premium, not 10 months' of the $681 premium, which is based upon incorrect information.

Takeaway: I doubt I will get my $44 back, but the money's no longer the point anyway. The point is that Vogel Insurance Agency did it wrong from start to finish, and I strongly recommend you look elsewhere for insurance.

Ace Tone Top-5 Repair

2010-01-08T19:28:00.002-05:00

My friend Peter recently showed me an interesting problem with his Ace Tone Top 5 organ. Everything works — all of the keys, controls, voices, etc — except all four of the G notes sounded an octave high, relative to the rest of the keys. I could not find any useful technical info online, so I thought I should post this. It probably isn’t a common problem, but you never know — it might help somebody.

(Disclaimer: If you’re unsure, don’t do it. I took a small chance with this repair and would have accepted full responsibility if I botched it. It may be a fine line, but I’m posting this to help people diagnose, not repair.)

Anyway, here is what I did:

I removed the top cover by removing the five screws that secure it — two on each side and one on the back. Because the cover is attached by wires to the body, you cannot remove it and place it somewhere out of the way. I carefully placed the cover behind the organ so that I could stand it on its back.

There are separate circuit boards for each note, (each is labeled, fortunately) plus two others at the low end of the keyboard. Each circuit board is held in place with a long piece of wood extending the length of the organ, with foam on its underside. I removed the six screws that secure this piece and removed it.

I carefully removed the G circuit board by slowly rocking it back and forth while pulling upward at the same time.

After a visual inspection revealed nothing obvious, I started to gently wiggle each component with a non-conducting probe (I used the handle of a plastic inspection mirror).

Fortunately, one of the first components I wiggled — a capacitor — felt loose. The solder looked sound at a glance, but the lead was not connected to it. (You can see the lead poking through the hole in the solder at the top center of the board)

I re-soldered the connection, plugged in and played, and the organ sounded great.

It should be clear from this post that I don’t know much about Ace Tone organs, so I welcome comments. At the very least, I hope this info helps somebody.

In the Dark About Daylight Saving Time

2009-10-21T08:11:00.002-05:00

I humbly admit that I never knew the correct term was Daylight Saving Time. Until March of this year, I always called it Daylight Savings Time. I guess it's never too late to learn a thing or two. On the bright side, at least I never say expresso or Wal-marts.

Onward and Upward With the Arts: The Translation Wars: newyorker.com

2009-10-08T19:07:00.003-05:00

Here's a New Yorker article on Richard Pevear and Larissa Volokhonsky, who have collaboratively translated several Russian classics (among other works). The Brothers Karamazov is my number one desert island book, so I found this pretty interesting.

Onward and Upward With the Arts: The Translation Wars: newyorker.com

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Goodbye again to facebook (for now)

2009-08-27T13:27:00.001-05:00

I just spent a couple of hours in the back yard cutting brush and fallen branches, after which I treated myself to a small fire (intentionally) and a beer. Once the fire was going, I grabbed my guitar and sang some very old songs quietly. As I watched the flames, I was reminded of life. Not my life in particular, but life itself. I'm not sure which stage of oxidation I'm in now, but I hope my flame has been full and has warmed others in the process. I hope I have not dwelled too much on the trees that were, or the ashes that will be, but rather the fire of the moment. I was fully in the moment this afternoon, and was taken with the novelty of being so; that is good to recognize, but unfortunate that it is as rare as it is.

For the next few days, before my life becomes incredibly busy again, I fully intend to embrace all that I can. Not so much people -- I often quite literally embrace Leigh and Maisie, so I don't think there is a problem there. However, I have squandered countless moments -- especially in my recent days of unemployment -- and my first baby step is to do otherwise, at least until Monday, when school starts.

To that end, I will not be checking in on facebook very often, if at all. I will likely post the occasional thought on my blog, located here: http://lycidas512.blogspot.com/ The name of the blog is Nothing of Consequence, so you've been warned.

In the meantime, I can best be reached not through facebook, but via my e-mail address, or even by phone.

Ta for now.

Foo Fighters deny link between HIV and AIDS

2009-08-11T15:25:00.003-05:00

Here is an article from Mother Jones detailing their support of Alive and Well, an organization that espouses the following:

HIV tests are inaccurate.
AIDS is not a major problem in Africa.
Pregnant women should not take antiretroviral medication to prevent HIV transmission to their children.
The syndrome of AIDS in fact results from malnutrition, mental stress, AZT, recreational drug use among gay men, or other causes.
The mainstream scientific community's efforts to promote AIDS awareness and develop effective treatments are examples of fearmongering and are compromised by ties to the pharmaceutical industry.

I wonder if the Foo Fighters realized the "truth" about AIDS and HIV about the same time as their music became indistinguishable from Muzak. Regardless, it's disappointing.

Am I Gone?

2009-07-27T15:04:00.004-05:00

There is a funeral home in the Buffalo, NY, area called Amigone Funeral Home (there are several, in fact). I'm sure they have heard the joke many times (both the founders and proprietors), but when I saw the name on the Buffalo news station feed this morning, I thought it was a joke or a mistake. It is indeed a real funeral home, though, named after the man that started the business in 1926.

Here is the link: http://www.amigonefuneralhome.com/aboutus/family.php

MXR Phase 90 Mod

2009-01-01T07:00:00.007-05:00

About twenty years ago, I was lucky enough to buy a 1970s MXR "Script Logo" Phase 90 for $20. They sell for up to $200 now, so I was pretty lucky. Unfortunately, I sold it before I ever used ebay, and didn't get much for it.

I have often wished I didn't sell it, so I finally purchased an newer (2002) MXR Phase 90 pedal a few months ago. I could not believe how bad it sounded. The waveforms were sharp -- unlike the creamy smooth original -- and the sound was dirty. To fix this, I bought a mod kit from Vodkamods.com. While I was waiting for the kit to arrive, I found the only modifications I needed (see the link below).

I removed the circuit board, clipped two capacitors (C11 and C12) and one resistor (R28). I also adjusted the trim pot to taste (The trim pot is just above the speed pot in the photo below). To do this, I had to remove the silicon plug holding it in place, and turned the pot a very little bit as I played the guitar through the pedal. When it sounded smooth and creamy, I stopped and marked it. They say to mark it before you make your adjustments, but if it sounds awful, why would you want to remember that setting?

Here's a photo from http://www.erikhansen.net/?page_id=31

I made a mistake with this mod, though. I should have clipped one component, played, clipped another, played, etc. to see what effect each had on the sound. Instead, I just clipped them all. I lucked out, though, because it sounds great. Also, if I were to do it again, I would remove the components with a desoldering braid instead of clipping them. Especially R28, which was tricky to get at.

Regardless, It sounds great, and if you're nervous about making the mod, don't be. The improvement was tremendous. What you should be nervous about, though, is dismantling and reassembling the pedal. I have read accounts of DIYers breaking the pedal by forcing something. With such compact pedals, there is not a lot of wiggle room. If something doesn't fit when you're reassembling, do not force it.

Now, back to Vodkamods: I didn't use anything in the kit. They seem like a good company, with good customer service, etc. I just didn't need any of the mods that were in the kit. The instructions were not well written, but when I e-mailed them a question, and they responded right away, so I would buy from them again.

Do Not Hire Royal Flush Plumbing & Heating or Gary Greco

2008-10-04T15:08:00.005-05:00

My wife and I recently hired Gary Greco from Royal Flush Plumbing and Heating, and I wanted to help prevent others from making the same mistake.

To be fair, I will begin with what we liked about Gary's work:

He was able to fit us in on short notice.
He was friendly.

Okay, done. Now here are the problems:

He did not do what he said he would do. I asked him to put insulation between the new tub and the outside wall. He said it would not be a problem. He probably thought I would never know, but because I had to cut into the wall to fix his shoddy work (see below), I was able to see that he did not insulate between the tub and wall. He also said he would call me back about the spots showing through the new surround (see below). He never did. That's okay -- I don't plan on calling him back either. Lesson: Not doing what you say you will do can result in a costly loss of future business.

He rushed. One of the good things I was going to say about Gary was that he worked fast. However, because his haste was clearly at the expense of quality, I cannot cite that as an asset. Lesson: If you cannot do a good job in the time allotted, don't take the job.

He left a mess. I swept chunks of drywall and nails (!) out of the driveway. I had to clean several spots in the carpet. After scrubbing with baking soda, the spots are mostly gone. In the process of removing the old tub and other materials, he chipped paint and marked up the walls. Lesson: If you fancy yourself a professional and would like to foster that image among your customers, this is at the very least number two on the list of things you should do consistently (see next item for number one).

He did shoddy work. First, I was surprised to find that a professional plumber couldn't run a bead of caulk. I had to recaulk the whole tub, which I did with clean hands so all of the caulk would not be dirty and brown.

Second, I had to cut into the wall to brace the faucet, which wiggled considerably. He had only caulked it, expecting that to hold it (and expecting me to believe that was standard procedure).

Third, he did not brace the surround panels after gluing them, so they came loose. He had to redo a panel, but he did not redo the other loose panels. I did.

He did not complete the spackling. He said it would only need sanding before painting, but it needed more spackling first. I did that too.

Finally, a minor point is that I was a little offput by the fact that the shower head, faucet handle and faucet are not in line with each other. Another minor point, which falls under the category of not doing what he said he would do, is that he left our house unlocked when he left. He worked here a few days, and I left the door unlocked for him in the morning. I asked him TWICE to lock it when he was done for the day. He never did.

In sum, in addition to the $3800 we paid for the work, I will have spent at least 20 hours of my own time fixing it by the time I'm done. The price would have been fair only for a complete job.

I'm disappointed that it didn't work out. Royal Flush is only a couple of blocks from my house, so that would have been convenient in an emergency. And I like to give money to local businesses. Nonetheless, I hope this post serves its purpose by preventing someone else from getting too little for their money. If you found this post helpful, or have had any experience with Gary/Royal Flush (good or bad), please feel free to leave a comment.

Holy Butt Crack, Batman!

2008-09-28T08:58:00.007-05:00

I was just watching part of a Superfriends marathon on the Boomerang network. Hanna Barbera cartoons are not known for their detail, so I was surprised to see Green Lantern's ass so completely rendered. It was apparently not enough to draw the ass crack -- it even had the "Y" shape at the top. I assume that this must have been a little joke that got by the censors. The animators would be glad to know that someone is still appreciating it thirty-some years later. I paused it and took a couple of photos:

I'll Take Two, Please!

2008-09-14T19:17:00.003-05:00

I was looking for glider rocking chairs on amazon today and came across a chair listed for $1,724,998.28. I'm not sure what the gag is, but here's the link if you want to buy one or two: http://www.amazon.com/Wing-Back-Glider-Rocker/dp/B001BXU4GA/ref=pd_bbs_2?ie=UTF8&s=hpc&qid=1221437733&sr=8-2

It comes with a couple of tongue-in-cheek reviews. Please feel free to leave some reviews of your own, should you visit the page.

Album Cover of the Month

2008-08-13T19:56:00.003-05:00

Well, this raises some questions. I'm not even sure where to begin, actually. Enjoy.

Questionable Batman and Robin panels

2008-07-29T19:24:00.006-05:00

A couple of months ago, I got a Batman and Robin comic from the 70s that reprinted stories from the 40s and 50s. For reasons that should be apparent, one of the panels caught my eye. I meant to post a scan of it, but never got around to it. I had forgotten about it until I stumbled on this boingboing.net link to other questionable B&R panels here: http://www.boingboing.net/2008/07/28/great-batman-panels.html

Here's a scan from my comic:

Odd dialogue, no? boingboing calls it homophilic, but given Robin's age, I call it pedophilic. I'm fine with the former, uncomfortable with the latter. If this dialogue had taken place between Batman and the Flash, for instance, it wouldn't seem so wrong. I have since been reading Batman though a different lens as it were.

I should note that I can vouch for the veracity of my scan. I have no idea if the others on boingboing are digitally altered.

A Ninja by any other name . . .

2008-06-26T16:36:00.002-05:00

Last week, I received an email stating that We Build Pages--a Search Engine Optimization company in Troy--is hiring Internet Marketing Ninjas (http://www.webuildpages.com) . I wasn't sure what that was, but it sounded interesting, so I applied. It turned out to be pretty much a sales position (I have absolutely no sales experience). Unfortunately, I found this out during the interview, which lasted about a minute. The experience set me back about an hour and a half of wages at work and a couple bucks in gas, so I would like to think I learned a thing or two. My suspicions were correct: if the official name of a position has the word Ninja in it, it's probably not exactly what I'm looking for.

Now for my plug: What I am primarily looking for is a Marketing Communications position. I like what I do at my internship--writing, editing, designing newsletters, brochures, and any other sort of communication aimed at informing our target audience about our products and services (computer applications for law enforcement agencies).

Having said that--since our household will experience a 50% growth rate in August--I'm also looking for any position that requires a modicum of thought, perhaps creativity from time to time (i.e., not Hessmart) and, most importantly, will help feed our little Maisie (and pay more than the cost of daycare). If anyone knows of anything that might be of interest, or someone that I should speak to that might be able to help me out, please let me know. Thanks ever so much.

Sorry to network, but I guess that's what this here Innerweb is for.

If you could have any superpower, what would it be?

2008-06-23T18:15:00.002-05:00

I used to think I'd like mind control. Among my first uses of that power would be to make other drivers stop whatever idiotic behavior they happen to be engaged in (talking on the phone, driving about three inches behind the car in front of them, etc.). I'd also use it to make cashiers somehow find the strength to say "Hello, how are you?" or "Thank you" instead of >grunt< (which I think is "hi") or "yut" (which is "You're welcome. Have a good day."). I guess I'd just like to make people behave more kindly in general.

My brother changed my mind, though. When I asked him what his superpower would be, he didn't even pause to answer: The power to make people beat themselves up. I like this power even better than mind control and here's why: with mind control, the subject would be unaware of what's really going on. There is no lesson learned. It's almost like serving a jail sentence only when asleep. Making people beat themselves up is muscle control, so it's more of a punishment.

Let's look at an example. One thing that annoys me is people who talk very loudly in the library, especially when I'm trying to study. If I were to use mind control to make them quiet, they aren't aware that it's wrong to be quiet. From their perspective, they are being quiet of their own volition, unaware that there is anything wrong with talking loudly in the library. If, however, I were to make them beat themselves up, they would be quite aware that something is very wrong. They would likely wonder why they were beating themselves up. With great power comes great responsibility, of course, so I would approach them and inform them that the reason they are beating themselves up is probably because they were being too loud in the library. I say probably because someone else in the vicinity with the same powers that I have might have been trying to teach the same person a different lesson. Not likely, I suppose, but some people are practically begging to incur that power.

The disadvantage with this power involves drivers, who I want to beat themselves up more than any other segment of the population. However, doing that when they are still driving might cause them to crash, perhaps killing themselves and others. One would have to wait for them to stop at an intersection. Also, it would be much harder to inform them why they beat themselves up, a sine qua non of this particular power. Perhaps some signage could address that issue.

So I guess I'd take either.

Noteworthy Dictionary Tidbits

2008-02-09T18:01:00.001-05:00

I was leafing through the dictionary the other day, and I noticed a few things, some of which I had previously highlighted, and some that I noticed in passing:

Calisthenics means "beautiful strength." That struck me as beautiful itself.

diarrhea means "flow through." That made me look up gonorrhea to see what that means and wish I hadn't.

diaper means "pure white."

There is a beetle called a cockchafer. Ringo is no longer my least favorite.

Contrary to The Breakfast Club, the correct word is elephantiasis, not elephantitis.

I'm going to be a Dad

2008-01-25T21:16:00.000-05:00

Leigh went in for her ultrasound today. Because she's only been pregnant for nine weeks, I figured I would just see a blob, and it would not be a big deal. It was, in fact, a tiny (2.22 cm) blob, and did not look like a big deal. However, seeing a heartbeat made it a very big deal. I don't specifically remember any profound thought when I saw the heart beating. I got misty, and when Leigh looked over at me and smiled, I only thought, Don't cry in front of the nurse. Which, thankfully, I did not.
At 39, I still have an awful lot to learn, and today I learned that my life will be very different from now on, and wonderfully so.

The only reason I need to get a snowblower

2007-12-28T22:34:00.000-05:00

When I was shovelling tonight, the scoop end got caught under a sheet of ice. I yanked up on the shovel, but the ice didn't break. Instead, I lost my grip on the end of the handle, making that end the business end of a Class III lever. The handle smacked me in the face, and I quietly stopped shoveling. I'm kidding -- I actually very loudly stopped shoveling, and was glad when I looked around afterward that no one seemed to be within earshot.

Incredibly, my glasses remained intact. And although my face hurt, I didn't realize I was bleeding until the side of my face felt cold.

I took a quick picture before cleaning up:

The Miracle of Modern Science

2007-12-28T22:28:00.000-05:00

We recently spent the last of our money on a new furnace, and so far it has been worth every penny. A mere glance at the before and after shot should explain why:

In case it doesn't, the new one is about 2/3 the size, and the rooms upstairs actually get warm now.

New Drums

2007-11-12T21:06:00.000-05:00

I just bought a drumset from a guy at work. I stripped the black plastic off and stained and sealed (quickly and sloppily) the plywood underneath. It doesn't look great, but I like it. Here are the before-and-after shots:

This Can't Be Good

2007-09-16T08:16:00.000-05:00

When I was eating pizza last night, I bit down on something really hard. I spit it out and noticed that it was part of my tooth, which has been a little sore for the past few weeks. The tooth was mostly filling anyway, so there wasn't much of the original tooth left. It looked pretty much like the one next to it (which seems to have developed a crack?). Besides looking disgusting, it looks like it hurts, but it doesn't, soI have a couple of days to see a dentist.

Restoring my first guitar, 28 years later

2007-08-18T18:00:00.000-05:00

In the summer of 1979, Dad bought me a guitar and amp for $15. It was rewired and refinished in the 80's, and at some point in the late 90's, the pickup fell off, and I played it once in a while without amplification. It's nice to have around to strum on once in a while, but I've wanted to fix it up for a long time. I'm unemployed, so what better time than now?

Pictured above is a guitar that is quite similar to my guitar as it appeared when I first got it. Mine only had one pickup and slightly different hardware. To see the step-by-step transformation, go to http://picasaweb.google.com/lycidas512/RestoringMyFirstGuitar

The results aren't that impressive, but it was fun, and it sounds pretty good. And, it only cost about $15 to fix it up. I'll probably spend a few more dollars on a knob for the volume control.

Only in America: Camouflage Bibles

2007-08-15T06:55:00.001-05:00

I just read an article in the New York Times about a company that sells Christian-themed items -- such as camouflage bibles -- to outdoorsmen. The company is called Christian Outdoorsman, and the logo depicts the C shaped like a fish hook and the O as a rifle scope with a cross in it. You can see the logo, the camo Bible, and Christians posing with animals they have killed at http://christianoutdoorsman.com/

NYT notes that there are actually a number of outdoors Christian ministries, such as Anglers for Christ Ministries, Christian Bowhunters of America and the Christian Deer Hunters Association. It's a combination that has never really occurred to me before. There's a market for everything, I guess.

Family Circus Reviews on Amazon

2007-08-14T13:21:00.000-05:00

I was looking for a review I wrote about a Family Circus book (Along the lines of , "Who enjoyed this book?" "NOT ME!"), when I found some other reviews, all of which were quite ironic (I hope), and very funny.
I copied and pasted my favorite from the page, and included a link below:

120 of 123 people found the following review helpful:
Proustian introspection with Munch's visual conundrums, July 29, 2002
By "momfy" (San Francisco, CA United States)
This review is from: What Does This Say?: Family Circus (Mass Market Paperback)
Yeats once wrote, "None other knows what pleasures man/At table or in bed." Bil Keane, however, seems to have found in his latest 'Family Circus' opus a treasure-chest of pleasures for each and all of us.
There are some who chafe at the seeming repetitive themes within Keane's major works; I would respectfully submit that all great stories are about life and death, love and loss, fear and triumph. If not Keane, then so go Shakespeare, Lewis Carroll, Sor Juana Inez de la Cruz and Callimachus, too, for good measure. It is not originality that spawns thought and wonderment; it is the vessels of those themes (Billy, Grandma, Barfy, PJ) that inspire and enlighten.
Keane, as carrier of these vessels, reminds us of a truth so eloquently immortalized by Ralph Waldo Emerson: "Some books leave us free and some books make us free." In 'What Does This Say', it is clear that the tome achieves the latter, with gusto and aplomb. Comment Was this review helpful to you?

There are a couple of other reviews for that particular book:
http://www.amazon.com/What-Does-This-Say-Keane/dp/0345470303/ref=sr_1_1/105-4722765-6068444?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1187115771&sr=1-1

Truth in Advertising

2007-06-21T16:45:00.000-05:00

I found this Union Carbide ad in a National Geographic from the 50's. In a surprising display of truth in advertising, it actually shows a hand (representing Union Carbide) destroying the environment.

Mother's Day Phun with Photoshop

2007-05-09T07:06:00.000-05:00

I edited some photos for Mother's Day. I probably shouldn't have to clarify this, but the first of each pair is the original photo.

Marsha the Entertainer

2007-04-21T15:56:00.000-05:00

The laughing picture on the right is of Marsha chewing on a plant that I removed with Photoshop. The others are of her licking her chops.

Costa Rica Trip

2007-04-08T16:17:00.000-05:00

Leigh and I just flew in from Costa Rica yesterday. Thank the gods that’s over. Short version: very interesting experience, enjoyed the body surfing (always love the ocean) saw monkeys, etc., but the food was iffy (although often delicious), and the area kind of smelled. I am not ashamed to say that I do not want to vacation again in a country in which you dispose of your used toilet paper in the trash can next to the toilet. Fortunately, the plumbing in our hotel could handle the TP, but most of the restaurants and airports could not. As I was pissing, I could never take my eyes off the trash can.

Also, in English-speaking countries, when I think someone is ripping me off, I have absolutely no problem saying so. Unfortunately, I don’t know how to say “I don’t think so, guy” in Spanish. Often it didn’t fully occur to us that we were getting porked until after. Just after we bought a $19 six pack of rotten Corona, Leigh said, “I’m not sure what just happened there.” Well, we know now. It was a holy day, so we were thankful that the guy was selling us beer. He told us not to tell anyone where we got it, so we thought he was doing us a favor. When we saw the total, we didn’t want to seem ungrateful, so we paid it. It did not taste good. Normally, in order for me to dump a beer, I would have to find a finger or a mouse carcass in it. It did not pain me in the least to dump this batch, even though it was the most expensive beer I've ever bought in a store, I think.

But I'm getting ahead of myself somewhat.The first night was not too impressive. We ate at a restaurant by the ocean. The beer (Pilsen) was not good (not tainted like the Corona -- rather, it just wasn't a good beer), and the food was very salty and greasy. The service was not at all good, and the power kept going out. The first time the power went out, we looked around, and the girl at the next table – said to her friend, “Only the Americans notice when the power goes out.” First of all, how does she know who’s American? People from many countries can look an awful lot alike. Second, I bet the restaurant's workers notice when the power goes out, especially when they’re reaching into a deep fryer, you dumbass. Third, even though power outages are not uncommon there, there is no indication when they’re about to happen, so even the locals can be somewhat nonplussed by the sudden change. Last, and probably most important, she is American. If you’re going to say condescending things about a group, try not to be part of it. Anyway, the next time the power went out, I said, “OH MY GOD – WHAT’S HAPPENING?!” Oddly, Leigh wasn't as amused as I was.

The hotel room wasn’t as bad as I expected. It had a walk-in safe, a balcony (not private, but decent) with a bench wide enough for 1½ people. The water was solar-heated, and collected – at least to an extent – in vats on the roofs. The solar heaters were the real deal, not just black hose in a glass case, although there’s absolutely nothing wrong with that. The water was a little chilly on the cloudy days, but it was still an impressive setup, and I would love to see more of that here. There were two parts to the hotel: The new part – where we stayed, and from which you could see a tiny bit of the ocean if you were looking for it – and the old part, which had a great view, but was scary. I think the cleaners live there, and we felt rather unwelcome when we went up to use the pool. The interesting part is that in its web site, the hotel photoshopped the two hotels so that it appeared that the new hotel has a great view of the Pacific. You can tell it’s edited, because the horizon doesn’t quite match the building. You can see their handiwork at http://www.hotelcocobeach.com/our_hotel.html. The picture above is the hotel as it actually appears (at sunset).

My favorite part of the trip was the beach. I body surfed, which is quite exhilarating. The last time we were at the beach, some of the waves were at least ten to twelve feet high. We ended up diving under some of those, rather than dying under them, thankfully. I passed a lot of salt water through my sinuses, which actually felt pretty good later. A couple hours later, in the hotel, I leaned over to open the fridge, and a little water dripped out of my nose.

I also thoroughly enjoyed sitting on our balcony one night, drinking a box of wine (we're classy) and watching the various goings-on, and making fun of the girls downstairs who talked like Fran Drescher. They were pretty rude to the hotel workers. Everywhere I travel, I feel like I have to be extra nice to make up for the other tourists (and not just the Americans). Most of the other tourists were actually pretty nice, or at least seemed it, but these girls were embarrassing. We were also glad to have the balcony when there was a downpour one morning. That was relaxing. I’m glad the snotty girl from the restaurant wasn’t next to us, saying, “Only Americans think this is a downpour. Gawd.” I should give her a break, I guess.

A few days in, Leigh got sick – probably because she ate part of the greasiest meal I’ve ever seen (when I pressed my fork into a carrot slice on her plate, about a tablespoon of oil oozed out of it), and I didn’t feel great, so I read on the balcony a lot. The book was really good, and the weather was pretty rainy, so I enjoyed the time, although I felt bad for Leigh. The restaurant was El Gato Negro, which I think is Spanish for "the Warm Toilet." Not sure. Either way, it’s my turn now. I’m sick today, but I’m not sure where that came from, unless it was the BK King Fish Sandwich in the San Jose airport. Everything about it seemed like a bad idea, but I was really hungry. At least I was okay on the plane.

One drizzly morning we went to Manuel Antonio National Park. We paid a guy to let us cross a tiny rivulet in his boat (the boat didn't actually move -- we entered the back of it, then got off the front of it, a privilege that cost us $2), thinking at first that it was the entrance to the park. That was another time when a better knowledge of Spanish would have helped. Leigh is pretty good at Spanish, so we did all right, but most of the transactions weren’t clear to me until after the fact. I'm fairly sure I looked like a nodding, smiling dope most of the time. Anyway, we watched some monkeys for a while, which was well worth the admission. We also saw a creature that had the head of a squirrel, and the cat-sized body of a rabbit or kangaroo and it hopped. (Leigh found out later it was an agouti) We hiked up to the overlook, got some pics, and moved on.

The flight was my first time in a puddlejumper. Not as bad as I expected, but it got my attention when the tail started moving to and fro. It felt like the plane would spin around at one point. The landings also got my full attention. The scenery was beautiful, though. Costa Rica is mountainous with dirt roads forming veins along the ridges of the hills. Costly homes with pools, patios, etc., were often next to shanties. It was also cloudy, but spottily so, so the clouds themselves were often striking scenery. The San Jose airport was quite a treat. When we arrived, we tipped a taxi driver $5 on a $1 fare, thinking he drove fast to get us to the Sansa Airlines (the puddlejumper). We then realized it was actually a different building in the same airport, and was about a two minute walk. And they sold our tickets (we had reservations) and we had to wait an hour and a half for the next plane anyway. Lesson learned.

Anyway, we're glad we went, but I'm pretty sure we're done with international travel for a little while. I feel a little embarrassed that we prefer the comforts of the U.S. It makes us seem somewhat unenlightened, especially since everyone we know who went to Costa Rica loved it. I think that when I'm on vacation, I don't want to be in survival mode. I don't want to think too much about how to do what we need to do. I don't want everything to be a production. I like to sit in the sun, play in the water, read, eat & drink, etc. Thinking too much more than that makes it feel like less of a vacation. Well, whatever. This picture is of NYC on the flight home.

Other pictures from our trip can be seen at
http://new.photos.yahoo.com/smrb321/albums

There's No Such Thing as a Free Seminar, Either

2007-03-29T13:16:00.000-05:00

This morning, my coworker Cara and I went to a Chamber of Commerce seminar called "Old Fashioned Communication: It Works!" I had reservations about the type of presentation it would be, based mostly on my opinion of exclamation points. (For instance, exclamation points in newspaper headlines reveals a certain baseness about the paper, even if the headline happens to be WAR!).

Despite my reservations, I thought it would be a good idea to go to this seminar so I could possibly make an important job-related contact or two. About ten minutes into the pre-show meet-and-greet (sit-and-stare is more on the mark, actually), the guy next to me introduced himself and commented on the weather. I introduced myself, and the conversation died. I now know that I am decidedly not a schmoozer.

Turns out that the presenter was not much better at communication than I am, though. He was late because he couldn't find Computer Drive South. Cara took the bus, and she was on time (see my previous entries on CDTA). And I have MapQuest, which I had the foresight to consult last night, so I was on time. The only person who didn't have that foresight to check MapQuest -- or ride in a vehicle whose driver knows roughly where Computer Drive South is, as Cara did -- was the only person whose presence was required for the seminar to actually happen.

Aside from being late, the presenter, Steve, was ill-prepared AND a bad speaker. He hemmed and hawed, started to make points without quite getting there, and neatly (and unwittingly) exemplified many of the bad communication practices he told us to avoid. The following is a list of some of his infractions:

He criticized people who don't listen well. He gave as an example people who are writing while you're talking to them. After the "speech," he answered some questions from the audience. Four people asked questions. While two of those people were asking questions, Steve was looking at his notes and writing.

He talked about Marshall McLuhan's quote, "The medium is the message," yet made it clear that his source was Reader's Digest or some hack book on communication. I have read MacLuhan before, and it is dense. I'm not bragging, because I didn't read much and I understood very little of what I did read. I would say that at this level of involvement -- an hour-long breakfast seminar -- leave it out. If you don't, you risk revealing to the audience that you don't know anything about Marshall MacLuhan beyond that one quote. For instance you might keep referring to the "medium that people project." I wanted to tell Steve that you don't project a medium; you project through it.

In the "wildly inappropriate" category, he talked about having a spot on one's suit, like "a big red dot the Hindu women have." He was trying to make a point about being self-conscious, and he ended up making two points at once: I forgot the first point -- the one he intended to make -- as soon as he mentioned the second point, which is that he's culturally ignorant. He got into dangerous territory with women in general as well, but mostly just when he said the word "Bitch."

Also, he talked about his baldness for too long (i.e., at all). He said he embraced it, rather than doing a combover. He said he's seen balding guys walking around with their hands on their heads. Who does that? I have never seen that. My guess is that while he was talking, he saw someone in the audience with a combover and had to change what he was going to say on the spot. (It's unfortunate for him that he didn't see a Hindu in the audience.)

He clearly resents the younger generation, what with their crazy casual Fridays and the email "fad." He recommends that people get stationery and write letters. I realize that that's the point of "Old-fashioned" in his seminar title, but I think email is here to stay. Some might say it's been pretty thoroughly institutionalized. Also, if you're billing clients by the minute, the clients would probably prefer that you communicate in the quickest manner possible.

This morning scared me in a couple of ways. First, it reminded me of how completely absurd life is, so I wasn't able to take it at all seriously for the rest of the day. Second, I realized that it's possible that I'm going to be working for or at least in the same building as someone like Steve someday soon. Finally, I don't think I'm ready for the corporate world. Will I always have to keep my mouth shut when idiots make ignorant comments about other cultures? Will I always have to pretend that this whole thing is not ridiculous? Will I have to resort to corporate jargon? The answer scares me.

Photos

2007-02-22T18:30:00.000-05:00

In an effort to connect my sundry web presences, I am placing my picasa/google photos link on this page: http://picasaweb.google.com/lycidas512.
That way, if an old classmate were to find me on facebook, or wherever, he or she could link to my blog, then to my photos page (I included a warning that the blog is boring, and I should probably include one with the photos as well). I don't think so much of myself that I think everyone wants to track me down and see what I'm up to these days, but it is kind of fun seeing where other people are now. It's a little frustrating when people don't have any sort of indication of what they're doing now, beyond an inane myspace nickname and an unrecognizable photo of themselves and several of their dogs/children. So, I thought it might be nice if I let it all hang out, as it were.

There's no such thing as a free class

2007-02-01T11:05:00.000-05:00

I went to a "free" basic web design class last night. I thought it would be helpful and interesting, and I will admit that it was a little of both. It wasn't quite free, though. Before I start bashing the instructor, let me first say that the guy teaching the class is very nice, and he has very patiently helped me with the library computers in the past. Getting in front of a class clearly brings out another facet of his personality, though. He was still quite nice, but it was sadly evident he would love nothing more than to be on stage all of the time.

He started the class with an dreadfully thorough autobiography, which was essentially a list of all the creative and cool things he has done in his life (and still does). After each item, he would look around for everyone's reaction. I was sitting right in front, unsmiling, with my arms crossed. I think in his mind, though, he was seeing me and the others wide-eyed and slack-jawed in disbelief that we're lucky enough to meet a man that this amazing. He did a reaction check after every "joke" he said too. And, he was kind enough to stop to explain every joke that was even remotely subtle. (I would approximate subtle for him as any joke that doesn't involve a pie in the face.) He apparently interpreted our stone-faced silence as uproarious laughter and wildly enthusiastic accolades.

I was distracted throughout the class because he looks like Dick Cheney (except with a goatee and without the insidious Mary Jo Buttafuoco smirk), but has the personality of Weird Al, a combination that made concentration difficult at times. I was surprised that he wasn't wearing a crazy tie. If he had been wearing a keyboard tie, for instance, that would have suited him perfectly. Not everyone's a textbook case, I guess.

Because he took so long to tell us how awesome he is, the class ran late. I only went to the class because it ended 15 minutes before my real class (i.e., the one I paid for), giving me just enough time to eat my sandwich quickly and walk to class. A couple minutes after the class was scheduled to end, and it became clear it wasn't going to end soon, I got up, said thank you, and left. Because I left "early," I didn't hear everything that the teacher was supposed to talk about in class. Fortunately, I probably also missed plenty that he wasn't supposed to talk about in class.

It was better than a sharp stick in the eye, and I admittedly learned a few things about basic web design, but it was not free. It was free*. They should have put an asterisk on the flyer advertising the class. They wouldn't even have to explain what the asterisk was for. When you see an asterisk after "free," that's all you need to know; it's not free.

The next time I see the instructor on campus, I'll tell him I thoroughly enjoyed* the class, and that he did a great* job.

Semi-annual Blog Event

2007-01-28T10:39:00.000-05:00

I would like to know why and when exactly did event replace, among other words, sale, special, and storm? For instance, during a half-hour news broadcast, the word event is used several times in ways that a few years ago were pretty rare, or at least strange. For instance, the weather personality often refers to precipitation as a snow event or rain event. I've even heard ice event. Weather happens every day. It should have to be pretty special to be called an event. I can understand its use in reference to precipitation heavy enough to be dangerous in some way (flooding, closed roads, etc.). It's not the word I would use, but I understand it. I think snow storm/blizzard and heavy rainfall have served us well.

Moving from natural to planned events, I rarely see a car ad or department store ad that advertises a mere sale; they all advertise clearance events or sales events. Usually, there's a modifier added, to make it sound even more special, like year-end, annual, holiday, etc. Perhaps this is to make the viewer think, "I can't miss this -- it's not like it happens every weekend."

While we're in the commercial break, I would like to note that shows are too often refererred to as television events as well. Usually, this is in the form of, "Don't miss this (special/once-in-a-lifetime, etc.) television event. I have noticed, though, that sitcoms are never referred to as events. It's always specials or dramas. I can understand some specials being events. The actual Academy Awards ceremony is technically an event. But, unless there is something actually going on in my house -- like a hostage situation or a fire -- I will never think of sitting down in the living room staring at the TV as an event. If I watched TV in the front lawn wearing nothing but a sock, that might count as an event. ER itself, however, is not an event.

I understand the use of the word in ads and promos. The copywriter wants to make the audience feel that they are missing out on something if they miss the event. They want the audience to feel that they've been invited to an exclusive event. Once they view the ad or promo, the audience feels it is in the know and part of an inner circle of sorts.

But what advantage comes from calling a snow squall a snow event? The only explanation I can think of is that if there is a possibility of a weather event of some sort, the viewer might want to stay tuned for further details. If they stay tuned, they provide a bigger list of potential invitees to the clearance events and television events.

Thank you for viewing my blog event.

More Made Stuff

2007-01-12T10:53:00.000-05:00

I found these table legs in the dumpster at work. I bought two pieces of laminated pine and attached them to 2x4's (also in the dumpster at work). I went through a couple of drill bits attached the legs, because whatever wood the legs are made out of is very hard. It's not pretty, but it works.

We needed drawers for the table/desk above, so I cut our old desk in half, and used one of the drawers for the desk/table, and one for our scanner and computer stuff.

We had a crappy old shelf that we had no use for in the new apartment, so I took it apart and screwed three of the shelves together for a keyboard stand. I put a coathook on the side for earphones.

We needed a heavy duty bookshelf, so I got two slabs of medium density fiberboard (MDF, as they say in the biz), cleft one in twain (as they say in the medieval biz) at a diagonal for the two uprights, and cut the other up into pieces to use as shelves.

I sprayed the top panel of this door in our kitchen with chalkboard paint. We use it for shopping lists. I don't know if it's worth not getting our security deposit back, but it's pretty useful.

I assume this cabinet used to contain an ironing board that was removed and replaced with glass shelves. I bought a tabletop ironing board and removed the attached folding stand. I removed the glass shelves -- breaking one in the process, of course -- and attached the ironing board to the original (wooden) shelf, using parts from the stand.

Portlandia the Magnificent

2007-01-09T22:31:00.000-05:00

We just returned from our visit to Portlandtown, USA, to visit this awesome and pictured couple, comprised of my sister-in-law Julie and her fella Jeff.

Julie is a wordsmith -- words and phrases that escape me quite regularly are mere toys to her. (In fact, she would have said that better.) Jeff is fully aware of -- and in possession of -- all things cool. If you ever admired the cover of an old pulp or a record that you can't believe ever got made, he has probably already seen it and acquired it, along with hundreds you haven't. In short, they're interesting, intelligent, thoroughly selfless, and a delight to be around.

The trip was exhausting, even though it went as smoothly as one could hope. We got up at a time meant only for going to the bathroom and returning to bed, so we started the day pretty tired. I simply cannot sleep on planes (which makes sense, since I often can't even sleep in bed), so I was very tired. Shortly after arriving, Julie, Leigh and I ate a Lebanese restaurant, went shopping for a game to play (Charoodles, a charades-based game with a doodle-based name). I can recommend it. That evening, I ate about a pound of cheese. No regrets. You have to die of something.

Friday, Julie took Leigh and me to some cool stores that used to be there. Powells, and thrift stores, etc. At the Goodwill store, I overheard an employee near the fitting rooms say several times, "Sir, are you trying to go to the bathroom?" I suppose there are worse places to mistake for a toilet. I can assure you that there was no mistaking the real bathrooms for anything but.

Portland is a cool city, but the air is rather thick with pretention. People walk around fully -- let me emphasize fully -- bedecked in bicycling regalia, even though I would bet that some of them drove their Suburu Outback or Toyota Prius that day. I feel like I'm being judged wherever I go in Portland, but that's probably common in most cities that are hipper than Albany (that's a large category). It's more noticeable in Portland than in New York City because most of the people in NYC are tourists.

Stinking hippies aside, I like Portland, if for no other reason than its abundance of cheap delicious food and secondhand stores. You can get tasty filafel in Albany, but not for $4. The service was also friendlier there than in Albany. It was by no means fast, but it was friendlier.

Saturday, we went to the coast, did some junk shopping, and walked on the beach for a bit. I bought a nicely illustrated 1948 copy of The Divine Comedy. We stopped at a record store that was full of fumes, some guy who had clearly been breathing fumes all morning, and records in no particular order. I was a little frightened in there. That evening, we watched a few episodes of Arrested Development. That always gladdens my heart.

Sunday, after some more thrift stores and Borders, Jeff and I went to a huge music store without fumes. It made me long for the days before I was musically jaded. At some point in my life, I bought the one album too many that had two or three good songs and several worthless fillers. I'm pretty wary these days about buying CDs, so I bought a DVD of Grandma's Boy, a thoroughly juvenile, but amusing, romp. Since I rarely buy DVDs even of my favorite movies, I did not foresee me leaving there with a copy of that. I hope it's as funny as I remember it.

Julie and Leigh made a delicious pasta dinner, then we took a LOT of pictures, many of which are of things I don't know why we were doing. The twenty-some pictures of Leigh and me pretending to fight, for instance. It sure was a hoot, though. Leigh fell and hurt her coccyx. Few things are more uncomfortable than a swollen coccyx. The pictures below are the beginning of the fall, followed by the post-coccycal impact.

It rather looks like I'm pushing Leigh, then pointing at her instead of helping her. I have been counselled by my attorney to assure you that that is not the case. Actually, I was pointing at the wine glass, which Leigh didn't know was there. No sense breaking a coccyx and a glass.

So that was an incredibly fun end to our visit, even though we didn't feel that great Monday morning. The flight was not what we expected. There was a stop that was not listed on our itinerary, so we sat in Salt Lake City for an hour or so. The police boarded and escorted some strange guy off the plane. He had made a lady and her kid cry by talking about the plane crashing, so the stewards separated them. He was wearing a fedora and a trenchcoat, which is never a good idea. Maybe it was the fashion police who took him off the plane, come to think of it.

Once back in Albany, about nine hours after we left Portland, we ate a fat burrito and slept the sleep of the just. Muchas gracias, Julie and Jeff!

(PS) You can see more photos at http://new.photos.yahoo.com/smrb321/albums, I think. Let me know if that doesn't work.

Furniture, Found and Made

2006-11-21T20:32:00.000-05:00

There's nothing particularly clever about these items; I just think they make interesting additions to our apartment. I enjoy having things that can't be purchased, and these qualify, I suppose (although I'll gladly entertain offers).

Some guy I worked with gave me a Hammond Organ that didn't work. I couldn't get it to work, so I gutted it (and sold the Leslie speaker assembly for $30 and the volume pedal for $10) and moved the keys back to make room for the keyboard. I have since removed the grill underneath, which is where the computer sets now.

This was a scrap of metal cut out of a 12" elbow at work. I ground it to a shiny finish and welded some rods onto the back.

This light was in the dumpster at work (which makes me realize just now that it's probably full of asbestos), so I painted it with a metallic finish (it was a dull black iron finish), got some short scrap pieces of aluminum pipe and a weatherproof switch enclosure. I attached it to the back of the night stand with pipe straps, and put some paper in the globe to make the light less harsh.

I had a non-working turntable and a non-working lamp, so I beheaded the lamp and gutted the turntable, which fit perfectly onto the threaded rod sticking out of the top of the lamp. I glued a record to it. It has held many a tasty brew.

Someone had put an old desk on the curb for trash pickup a couple weeks ago. I didn't think much of it, because we don't need a desk. I saw it again a few days later, after we had a discussion about needing another bookshelf. So I grabbed the drawers out of the desk and made a bookcase. The only things I added were two furniture coasters that I glued to the bottom drawer (to even it up) and a pull knob I had in my junk drawer. That's Jeff and Julie on top. Crazy kids. More on them later.

This lamp had a metal shade that made the light much like a spotlight: too intense on the spot it illuminated, and too dark elsewhere. It was almost like trying to read with a large flashlight. I replaced the shade with a pitcher I got at a dollar store. (I use CF bulbs, which don't get hot enough to melt the plastic.) The light is much more uniform now, which more than makes up for the fact that the lamp looks completely ridiculous.

Another beheaded lamp that I made into a toilet paper holder.