There's no such thing as a free class

I went to a "free" basic web design class last night. I thought it would be helpful and interesting, and I will admit that it was a little of both. It wasn't quite free, though. Before I start bashing the instructor, let me first say that the guy teaching the class is very nice, and he has very patiently helped me with the library computers in the past. Getting in front of a class clearly brings out another facet of his personality, though. He was still quite nice, but it was sadly evident he would love nothing more than to be on stage all of the time.

He started the class with an dreadfully thorough autobiography, which was essentially a list of all the creative and cool things he has done in his life (and still does). After each item, he would look around for everyone's reaction. I was sitting right in front, unsmiling, with my arms crossed. I think in his mind, though, he was seeing me and the others wide-eyed and slack-jawed in disbelief that we're lucky enough to meet a man that this amazing. He did a reaction check after every "joke" he said too. And, he was kind enough to stop to explain every joke that was even remotely subtle. (I would approximate subtle for him as any joke that doesn't involve a pie in the face.) He apparently interpreted our stone-faced silence as uproarious laughter and wildly enthusiastic accolades.

I was distracted throughout the class because he looks like Dick Cheney (except with a goatee and without the insidious Mary Jo Buttafuoco smirk), but has the personality of Weird Al, a combination that made concentration difficult at times. I was surprised that he wasn't wearing a crazy tie. If he had been wearing a keyboard tie, for instance, that would have suited him perfectly. Not everyone's a textbook case, I guess.

Because he took so long to tell us how awesome he is, the class ran late. I only went to the class because it ended 15 minutes before my real class (i.e., the one I paid for), giving me just enough time to eat my sandwich quickly and walk to class. A couple minutes after the class was scheduled to end, and it became clear it wasn't going to end soon, I got up, said thank you, and left. Because I left "early," I didn't hear everything that the teacher was supposed to talk about in class. Fortunately, I probably also missed plenty that he wasn't supposed to talk about in class.

It was better than a sharp stick in the eye, and I admittedly learned a few things about basic web design, but it was not free. It was free*. They should have put an asterisk on the flyer advertising the class. They wouldn't even have to explain what the asterisk was for. When you see an asterisk after "free," that's all you need to know; it's not free.

The next time I see the instructor on campus, I'll tell him I thoroughly enjoyed* the class, and that he did a great* job.